I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
