wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
