what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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