Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize