I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
