He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
