fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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