You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dignity is for republicans.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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