omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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