If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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