im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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