I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
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