I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
