Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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