I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
