coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
