plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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