When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
