i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
