porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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