there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
