What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
