so explain again why im purple
no
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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