a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
