As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize