I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
