I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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