I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
