i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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