the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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