playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize