I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
