and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
