I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
