we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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