I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
