DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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