She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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