i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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