Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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