6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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