dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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