I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize