We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
i need to put some appletini on your dick
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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