Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher

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(269): View more from Michigan

dude she's married.

(1-269): View more from Michigan

so? a ring don't cover no holes.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.

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(509): View more from Washington

Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.

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(315): View more from New York

That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?

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(618): View more from Illinois

I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.

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(516): View more from New York

He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.

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(573): View more from Missouri

We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.

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