You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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