Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
