i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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