I hate all girls vehemently.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
