that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
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