In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
