were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
