are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
