he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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