Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
