that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize